'Boss, I'll do 26% of my job in 2010 for $55.1 billion!'

How far do you think you would get in your career if you informed your boss that you would do 26 percent of your job?

Ludicrous! Ridiculous! You would most certainly be laughed out of the room, if you managed to keep your job.

"What a kidder!" your boss would invariably say.

But that is exactly what the Department of Homeland Security is telling Congress it intends to do in 2010 - catch only 26 percent of travelers who are committing major criminal violations while seeking to enter the United States through international airports.

And that is an improvement, by one percent, from the same agency's fiscal 2008 record regarding those people caught committing major violations while entering the U.S. on international flights.

These facts and figures are contained in a 3,493-page report that the Department of Homeland Security submitted to Congress to justify its annual budget, a budget that involves detecting and prevention serious criminal activity including the possession of narcotics, smuggling of prohibited products such as parts of endangered species, human traffic, weapons possession, fraudulent U.S. documents and other offenses serious enough to result in arrest.

And how much is Secretary Janet Napolitano asking from Congress, you might wonder, to do one quarter of its assigned job?

Well, on the department's home page accessed via the World Wide Web, open to anyone with a computer and internet access, the department asked for $55.1 billion for fiscal year 2010 and another $56.3 billion for fiscal year 2011.

The 2010 budget request seeks additional funding for 109 new bomb appraisal officers to "help secure the nation's airports" and 15 new Visible Intermodal Prevention and Response teams to detect explosives in public spaces and on transportation networks.

The budget includes five additional U.S. Coast Guard cutters and two patrol planes, 44 Border Patrol agents, 65 U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers, 349 U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents, analysts and investigators, 68 pilots and 20 marine personnel.

Oh, and it also includes $40 million for smart security on our northern border to expand and integrate surveillance systems.

Part of the money - $112 million - will be used to strengthen employment eligibility verification systems while another $139 million will be used to expedite the application process for new legal immigrants.

The budget request provides nearly $4 billion for state and local grant programs, emergency management performance grants and firefighter assistance grants.

But you have to read nearly to the end to find out that the budget also provides for the consolidation of more than 35 department offices to a new headquarters facility and $200 million for more computers to standardize acquisitions and streamline maintenance and support contracts across the department.

Wow! What a bargain. I feel more secure already!